The Fellowship that Shouldn't Be
by Elwyn the PlushieHead
Summary: And nine, nine rings were gifted to the preps, who above all else, desired power.. And more glitter lip gloss. Yes... your traditional LOTR story has been... er... updated. PREP BASHING! FINISHED thanks to reviewers!
1. Prologue

Long ago, when Pine Lake Middle School was first established, rings of great power were forged. Three were gifted to Orchestra students, fairest and wisest of all beings. Seven for band students, whose thick band room walls did nothing to hide what they called "music." And nine, nine were gifted to the preps, who above all else, desired power.. And more glitter lip gloss.  
  
But they were each of them deceived. For a new ring was forged. In the girls bathroom, the one nearest the gym, the preppiest of them all created a new ring, pouring in all of her malice, greed, and will to dominate all life. But there were some that resisted. A Last Alliance of Orchestra and Band students was created, in a final effort to overthrow the Preppy One. When all looked lost, the principal's son himself cut off the ring from the Preppy One's hand. Kelsey, the Preppy One, had been defeated.  
  
It was in this moment that as the Principal's son took the ring in his hand, he had the chance to destroy evil forever. But the hearts of nerds are easily corrupted. The principal's son took the ring. But the ring betrayed him to his suspension. After being pulled over for fighting, the ring slipped from his hand, and a teacher picked it up. The teacher became infatuated with it, and it caused him to think that alien cows were real. For years and years, he was under this thought, and he slowly became even stranger; the ring waiting for his chance to escape. But then something happened that the ring did not expect, and it fell into the hands of the most unlikely person imaginable; a band student who did not know the power of what she carried. A select few from the orchestra did know however, and they knew that the Nine were searching for it, because the Preppy One had resurfaced. So, they took the ring, and made themselves the Fellowship of Four to stand against the Nine. And even though there was the minor difference in numbers, they figured it was alright, trusting on the fact that since the Nine were preps, they might be too dim to figure out that they had five more. And as luck would have it, the ring was now in more unlikely hands. The select students were none other than Laura from the cello section, Sarah from the violas, and Rachel and Elwyn from the violins. Laura was afraid of the Teacher that fell to the power of the ring, for he had been her old science teacher. That year was an experience that would haunt her forever. Sarah had a mental condition. well actually, they all did. anyway, she believed that her viola was a person named Billy, and it was not uncommon to see her kissing her viola during classes. Rachel was the only sane one, trying time after time to get the others to see reality, and was known to think of horrifying images such as a giant jack-in-the-box waving at her when they played some of their pieces. Elwyn, too, was delusional. She believed she was an Elf, and would often help Rachel think of the strange images that she saw that haunted her head.  
  
With this group, it was only a matter of time before Pine Lake fell to the power of the Preps. 


	2. The Council, which also shouldn't be

It was fourth period, and alone in the cello room, the Four sat in a circle. Laura got up and peeked out the window leading out to the main orchestra room.  
  
"What d'you see?"  
  
"Not much."  
  
"Good. Then sit down." She did. They all looked at each other.  
  
"So who has the Ring?" Silence. Rachel stood up, saying, "Elwyn, I gave it to you."  
  
She laughed nervously. "See, I thought it was really. ugly, so I gave it to Laura." Rachel turned to Laura.  
  
"Hey, it wasn't green, so I didn't care. I gave it to Sarah." Laura finished, shrugging. All eyes turned to Sarah, but were quickly averted when it was clear she was having another romantic rendezvous with her viola.  
  
"Ugh! Sarah, that is *so* gross!" Sarah stopped what she was doing long enough to say with utter seriousness,  
  
"It's not gross, it's love!" She then proceeded to quote long passages from Moulin Rouge. Elwyn turned back to face her.  
  
"Sarah, the idea of having a relationship with an actual guy escapes you, huh?" Sarah shot her an angry glare.  
  
"Billy *is* real, aren't you Billy?" And she was off again. Laura snapped.  
  
"Sarah, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE RING?!?"  
  
"I gave it to Billy."  
  
"And what did Billy do with it?"  
  
"Um."  
  
She shook her viola up and down, and from inside, there came a rattling. "Billy ate it. He said it was yummy, too." Elwyn grabbed the instrument from Sarah's grasps, and pulled out a pencil, proceeding to get it to slide onto the writing utensil.  
  
"Your hurting Billy!!! Stop this MADNESS!" After smacking Sarah upside the head, she was able to retrieve the Ring. It was very ugly, the Four admitted. Purple plastic, with a blue sequin jewel on the top. Elwyn set the Ring on her palm.  
  
"It must be cast into the toilet of which it was created!" They all turned to Laura, who was getting into the spirit of things. Rachel turned to Elwyn, who was holding the Ring very gingerly.  
  
"This. came from a TOILET?!? Ewwwwwwww!"  
  
"Well, I'm not sure."  
  
"Eww, eww, EWW!" Elwyn dropped the Ring, and it began to roll on the floor. It was headed.  
  
"Sarah! Catch it before it goes underneath the cabinet!"  
  
"Don't touch it!" But Sarah was oblivious to these cries, as she was making sure her "true love" was alright, and talking to "him." And it was gone. Laura held her head in her hands, exasperatedly. Elwyn cursed in some unknown language, probably made up. Rachel shook her head, and sighed, obviously highly annoyed. Sarah continued to talk to Billy.  
  
"Alright. Lets begin operation 'Piece of Plastic.' " Sarah looked up. "Hey, where's the Ring?" Elwyn lunged at her, as did Laura. However, Rachel was the only semi-sane one of the group, and as a result, not as violent as the rest.  
  
"It went underneath the cabinet." The struggle stopped, and there was a gasp.  
  
"The cabinet? How are we supposed to get it out from there?"  
  
"We could use an instrument bow."  
  
"We could." Rachel pulled out one of the cello bows from an unused instrument. She began poking around in the very small space between the floor and the bottom of the cabinet.  
  
"Ha! Got it!" She picked up the Ring triumphantly.  
  
"Rachel. you're touching it." She cringed, and set it on a music stand. Then, she rummaged through her binder and pulled out a tiny bottle of Purrell. The momentary calm, however was shattered by a very loud 'plang,' and a sob from Sarah. They all turned around to see a broken d-string, and a very sad looking friend.  
  
"You!" She pointed an accusing finger at Laura. "You killed Billy!!!!" 


	3. Future of school or Orlando Bloom?

The next few days before Thursday passed rather uneventfully. Unless of course, you count Sarah ignoring Laura, and Rachel practically falling off her chair because they were playing a song that was dark then happy, and Elwyn had suggested it sounded like Sauron's theme- Sauron all angry in the dark parts, and then him mini-golfing in a tacky Hawaiian print shirt and pants during the happy parts. Poor Rachel was at her breaking point. She was obviously traumatized at the thought. But, since this was Elwyn's hobby, she wasn't going to stop anytime soon. And because Laura had been storing the Ring in her locker, it was her unhappy task to retrieve it without the Nine catching her. Being that her locker was near one of the Nine's, she had decided to enlist the help of- GASP- a band student named Cindy. Although trusted by everyone, Cindy played flute, and was known to give splitting headaches to the Four. Mainly Elwyn and Sarah though, being as they were very obnoxious. But being that the band and orchestra room was connected, it was the smartest thing to do. However, the Four decided to walk with her down the halls, to help.  
  
"Alright, Cindy. We'll take the path down the 7th grade hall, instead of the 8th. The Nine won't expect that."  
  
"O.K."  
  
Elwyn pointed an accusing finger at her.  
  
"That's all you've said- you have agreed with everything we have suggested. You must be a spy!" Laura smacked her.  
  
"You idiot. She has never even been accused of dealing with preps."  
  
"That's what she want's us to think." Elwyn muttered, but then shut up at the look on Laura's face. She took those threats seriously. Rachel continued.  
  
"Right. As soon as we are in the C-building, you make a beeline for the back of the band room. We'll meet you in the our cello room."  
  
Cindy nodded, and then said, "Make sure the Nine don't catch you." She stole a glance at Sarah and Elwyn. "Although," she continued, "You two."  
  
"Ha ha ha, let's just get moving, alright?"  
  
Pushing their way out of the empty classroom, Cindy shoved the Ring into her pocket, and Rachel held a fake one in her hand. They moved quickly, pushing past everyone, and knocking some 6th grades to the ground. They muttered apologies, and saw the door to the courtyard- so close. but then--- -  
  
"Like, where do you think your going?"  
  
The Four and Cindy pulled out pencils, and held them defensively.  
  
"Back to the shadows!"  
  
The prep who was blocking their exit flipped her unnaturally straight blond hair. She held out her hand expectantly.  
  
"Listen, I *really* need to apply some more lip gloss, so, just give me the Ring, alright?" Cindy heard Elwyn whisper,  
  
"Run for it, and don't worry about me." Elwyn then pulled out the decoy, and waved it in Number Three's face.  
  
"If you want it, come and claim it!" She bolted down the hall.  
  
Number Three snapped her fingers, and four other Preps came out, and all of them followed Elwyn. Rachel looked on in disbelief.  
  
"You guys, she'll be captured!"  
  
"No time! Let's go! I'll explain when we are safe."  
  
Cindy, Laura, Rachel, and Sarah ran down the hall, to the band room, without knowing what was to become of their comrade.  
The Three and the Band student were breathing slightly heavier than normal when they got to the band room. Laura looked up.  
  
"Cindy, what did Elwyn say?"  
  
"For us to run, and not worry."  
  
"Well, we ought to start."  
  
Sarah looked up.  
  
"Not only has she been kidnapped, but I never got to tell her I got Billy into a hospital soon enough, so he isn't dead!" Laura thwapped Sarah.  
  
"That's the least of our worries. If the Nine have indeed kidnapped her, they will use all sorts of bribery to get her to tell where the real Ring is."  
  
Rachel spoke up.  
  
"Come on. We have to have more faith in her. There is *no* way she would betray us."  
  
~Meanwhile in a broom closet.  
  
Number Three had tied Elwyn to a stool, with a couple of extension cords. They had grabbed the large closet, so there was plenty of room for all of the Five Preps that had captured her.  
  
"I'll never talk, so don't even try to make me!"  
  
Number Two pulled, out of a binder, which had pictures of her hugging various boys, six pictures of.  
  
"Orlando Bloom pictures I got off the net. You tell us where the real Ring is, and I'll let you go, along with these." She waved the pages. Elwyn bit her lip. Future of the school. Orlando. school. Orlando. she couldn't decide. However, the thought of how badly Laura would hurt her made the decision.  
  
"No way." Number Two held the pictures in front of Elwyn's face, and began to tear them.  
  
"How about now?"  
  
Orlando most definitely. "FINE, FINE, I'LL TELL YOU ANYTHING, JUST STOP!!!"  
  
"On second thought, we'll just hold you for ransom." She proceeded to violently rip the remaining pictures.  
  
"Nooooooooooo!!!" 


	4. Trapped, and alone but not for long

(A/N- Sorry this took me so long to post- I seem to have lost my humor for a bit, after Breaking up with my boyfriend Not making it into the school play.  
  
Oh well. LOL If any of you know any cute guys living in Washington, tell me! ^_^)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Number Three looked around.  
  
"Alright- two of you, report to Kelsey. The rest should come help me write the ransom note."  
  
They began to leave, and Number Two stopped, and turned off the lights, then closed and locked the door. Elwyn looked around. Not only was she tied to a chair with extension cords, but now she was alone. In the dark.  
  
"Hello?" No answer.  
  
"Hola? Kohnichiwa? Aloha?!?!?!?" Still, no reply.  
  
"SOMEBODY?!?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Meanwhile in the Cello Room *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Rachel burst into the room, out of breath, and clutching a piece of notebook paper.  
  
"They're holding El for ransom!"  
  
Laura looked up, half- interested.  
  
"What do they want?"  
  
"The Ring."  
  
"Forget it." Laura continued to read her book. Sarah looked up.  
  
"Laura, we have to rescue her! After all, she's just so smart, and brilliant."  
  
"And exactly how much did she have to pay you to get you to say that?"  
  
She gasped.  
  
"Are you suggesting that I was paid to say nice things about my friend?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Fine. She gave me a twenty. I'm going to put it to Billy's and my honeymoon  
  
Rachel sat on the floor, thinking. She stood up.  
  
"Sarah, Laura- I'm going to go find her. Who's with me?"  
  
"Billy and I are!" Laura closed her book, and heaved an overly dramatic sigh.  
  
"If I must. But do you even know where she is?"  
  
Rachel shook her head.  
  
"But I think we should find her quickly. After all, I don't think she would tell the Nine anything. but if she came face to face with Kelsey, I'm afraid all that make-up would drive her over the edge, and she might let something slip." She read the note out loud-------  
  
If you want to see Elwyn ever again, It's highly advisable that you bring the Ring near the girl's bathroom outside of the gym. Bring no one else along. If you do not act within two hours of reading this note, then Elwyn will become Number 10, complete with pink glitter lip gloss, and purple eye shadow. It's your choice. -The Nine.  
  
Both Sarah and Laura looked up, incredulous.  
  
"I never knew they knew the word 'advisable.' "  
  
"I thought they were illiterate. Oh well. You learn something new everyday."  
  
They all stood up, and exited the room, making their way to the bathroom nearest the gym.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Five minutes later............. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Four, temporarily The Three, looked around. They were outside the gym, waiting, when they heard a scream of some incomprehensible- made up- or- dead language. Laura pointed to the broom closet a few feet away.  
  
"She's there!"  
  
They all ran to the closet door, and Rachel tried to open it.  
  
"They've locked it!"  
  
All of a sudden, they heard footsteps behind them, and they froze. Turning slowly around, they saw it was----------------  
To be continued!!!!!!! ^_^  
Elwyn's little note- TIME FOR AN AUDIENCE VOTE! The two choices we have to pick from are- 1-The principal @_@ or, 2-All of the Nine!  
  
Hmmm, "epic" battle, or an unfortunate run in with the principal. If you are going for a bit more humor, I would suggest #1, but it's up to you. POLL IS CLOSED ON MARCH 5, SO HURRY UP AND VOTE! ~El 


	5. Do Preps have brain cells?

A/N- Hello all! It is I, the one and only Elwyn, writing to you from the ever exiting organ that is my mind. A big thanks to everyone that participated in the vote! Some of the votes were from my friends that didn't review, so know that I did not cheat to get the result I wanted. Iwrote this a little late, so, Wyrrm, even though you voted on the 6th, I still counted it!  
  
I'll have another poll soon, and read on~!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
The Four, temporarily the Three, turned around and saw...  
  
The Principal.  
  
"What's going on here?"  
  
The Three looked at each other- it appeared like they were trying to break down the door. Sarah swollowed.  
  
"We were. testing the locks.?"  
  
"Testing the locks?" he repeated disbelivingly. Laura nodded fervently.  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"For what, may I ask?" Rachel bit her lip.  
  
"To. uh."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"To make sure the preps don't get in." she finished, blinking.  
  
The Principal raised a skeptical eyebrow.  
  
"So the preps don't. take the cleaning supplies." The Principal shook his head, and said,  
  
"Listen, I don't want to catch you breaking down the door again. Stay out of trouble, alright?"  
  
They nodded silently, and watched the principal turn the corner into the lunchroom. They were still for a moment, and then Rachel turned back to the door, pulling out a hairpin. They stood, watching Rachel pick the lock, until finally, the door opened.  
  
"Hey guys!" Elwyn looked up. "Come to rescue me?"  
  
"No, we've come to laugh in your face and leave." Said Laura. Elwyn glared back.  
  
"Ha ha ha. Hilarious. Just untie me, alright?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~~*~~*~~*~*~*~*~  
The Four made their way very quickly back to the orchestra room, none of them wanting to meet up with any of the Nine. Sarah pulled Rachel over, and said,  
  
"About your comment on the Preps wanting to steal the cleaning supplies."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Well, Preps don't like cleaning."  
  
"True."  
  
"You suggesting Preps get high?"  
  
"It *would* explain their lack of brain cells."  
  
Elwyn cast a curious glance at the pair. What were they talking about?!? It made no sense. Since when did Preps have brain cells?  
  
"Hey everybody- in celebration of Billy's recovery, I have taken it upon myself to name your instruments!"  
  
Everyone groaned.  
  
"Laura, your cello's name is Jim, Rachel, yours is Chip, and Elwyn, your violin is Michel."  
  
"Great."  
  
"That's really. great."  
  
"Yeah, what she said." Sarah turned back, pouting.  
  
"You guys have no appreciation for anything I do, y'know?" Laura patted Sarah on the shoulder in mock sympathy.  
  
"Oh, we DO. Don't worry."  
A/N- So how was it? Review, and tell me! I'll get the next chapter up soon! ~El 


	6. The tragic aftermath of the Oscars, or, ...

A/N- Hello everybody! It is I, yet again, writing you from my computer. This chapter took me a little longer than expected, because recently, I have been in a creative slump. But, in light of the Oscars, I had a brilliant idea for this chapter! ^_^ Sooooo. if you guys have any fic ideas, e-mail 'em to moi, ok?  
  
I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!! *hopeful smiles* And as an added bonus, I'll even give you credit! ^_~;;;  
  
Peace out, dudes!  
  
~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Laura, Sarah, and Rachel sat in the practice room, waiting for Elwyn to show up so they could begin their ensemble practice. Laura was reading yet another book, after having finished the other five she was reading the day before. Sarah was having a little 'fun' with her viola, and poor, poor Rachel had her eyes closed, and was whispering to herself, "I didn't see that. Sarah didn't just do that. I *won't* have to go to a psychiatrist."  
  
The relative serenity of the room was shattered by a loud wailing that penetrated even the practice room walls. Elwyn came bursting into the room, crying. She took a few more steps into the room, and fell over, weeping on the floor. Laura looked up, half-interested.  
  
"What's wrong? The restraining order Orlando Bloom put in against you finally come through?" Elwyn stopped her crying long enough to glare at her.  
  
"N-no, Laura." She sniffled. "The Oscars. last night."  
  
Rachel and Sarah exchanged knowing glances. Laura mouthed, "What?"  
  
"THE TWO TOWERS DIDN'T WIN BEST PICTURE!!!! HOOOOOOOOOW?!?!?!"  
  
Laura swore, and covered her ears.  
  
"Elwyn, shut up!"  
  
"I DON'T WANT TOOOOOOOO! I HATE CHICAGO!!!!!" "El-"  
  
"STUPID, EVIL, CRUEL." she paused, and lowered her voice. "Uh, guys? I'm running out of adjectives."  
  
There was a sudden thud on the door, which startled everyone.  
  
Cindy burst in the room.  
  
"Shut up, you guys!" she hissed.  
  
Laura shot her a questioning look.  
  
"Why?" She whispered.  
  
Cindy closed the door.  
  
"All of Elwyn's wailing has, thank you very much, alerted the Nine. They are currently outside our Band room."  
  
Elwyn tried her best to look innocent.  
  
"Really.? Imagine that."  
  
Laura stood up, trying to look diplomatic.  
  
"Cindy? You know when we told you we'd only need your help that *one* time?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well." Cindy got the message.  
  
"Oh no. One time was enough, thanks." She said, shaking her head vigorously. She shuddered at the memory of what had happened after Elwyn had taken off running.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~FLASHBACK~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Cindy ran through the halls, Laura, Rachel, and Sarah right behind her. And then.  
  
Three of the Nine had spotted them, and had begun to chase them.  
  
The Band room was so close. yet so far away.  
  
And then, she felt something slip out of her hands. she looked behind, and saw her beautiful, stunning, time- consuming "Orlando Bloom is U-G-L-Y" sign fall on the floor, to be trampled by the passing crowd.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~END FLASHBACK~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rachel looked up.  
  
"Please, Cindy. We can't destroy the Ring by ourselves."  
  
Cindy bit her lip.  
  
"Well. on one condition."  
  
"Fine. Name anything."  
  
"After it's destroyed, Elwyn says that Orlando bloom is ugly."  
  
All eyes on Elwyn. She sighed.  
  
"Fine."  
  
"In front of the whole school."  
  
"WHAT?!?! NOOOO WAY!" Laura glared at her.  
  
"Er, I mean, sure Cindy."  
  
Sarah stood up, looking around.  
  
"Come on, you guys. We need to find a way out of here."  
  
A/N- Soooooo. how was it? Please know, that I am not anti-Orlando. In fact, I'm quite the opposite! I do love him very, very much, despite his very odd sense of fashion.  
  
See you all soon~!  
  
Lots of Love~Pray for Peace  
  
Elwyn the PlushieHead 


	7. Sarah and Billy's Dilema

(El's note~ Hey! Sorry I was a little late in posting this one. The fic should be ending in a few more chapters, or something like that. The Four and I had our Solo and Ensemble competition March 29th, and played "Fantasia on an Original Theme," by Joseph J. Phillips, and walked away with a Silver! Sadly, we got a gold last year playing Cannon in D, but. this was a harder piece. Sarah didn't play in our group last year, because she actually played cello then. My friend Millie was our viola, but she switched to. *shudders* band.  
  
Oh well.  
  
Read on, and I love you all!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rachel, Laura, and Elwyn walked to their practice room after not finding Sarah in the main room. It was Thursday, and the Four plus Cindy had decided to meet to discus tactics in waging war against the Nine and the Preppy One. They opened the door to the smaller hallway, and as they got closer to the room they were in that day, they were met with an insane sort of giggling.  
  
"Sarah." Murmured Laura.  
  
Rachel bit her lip worriedly.  
  
"She's not. seeing things, or. killing anything, is she?"  
  
"I'm not sure. She put paper over the window."  
  
The three of them pressed their ears to the door, and heard Sarah continue.  
  
"You *know* you can't leave me."  
  
A pause.  
  
"B-but, Billy! You can't be serious. not after all we've been through. just because. because I have glasses."  
  
She started wailing quite loudly. "Since when did Sarah have glasses?" Asked Laura.  
  
"She said something about getting them last week, but I wasn't really listening." answered Elwyn.  
  
And then, she stopped crying, and started laughing madly.  
  
Elwyn shook her head.  
  
"It's like a big psychotic, schizophrenic mood swing."  
  
"HA! Now we'll be even!!!"  
  
Clearly heard against the laughing, there came a huge ripping sound, which made them all jump back in fear.  
  
More insane laughter, and ripping.  
  
Rachel cast them an uneasy glance.  
  
"I feel like I'm in some Stephan King novel."  
  
Laura hesitated, then opened the door.  
  
Masking tape was everywhere. On the stands, chairs, filing cabinets.  
  
Ceiling.  
  
"Sarah, what in the name of Eru are you doing?!" was Elwyn's response to this horrifying sight.  
  
Laura stared.  
  
Rachel looked around her, before saying, "Sarah. are you. do you. feel okay?" Which pretty much summed up the situation.  
  
Sarah blinked up at them from behind new glasses.  
  
"Billy threatened to leave me, because of my new glasses," she explained. "So I gave him a pair, and now we're even." She held up "Billy," to show that she had crudely taped blue plastic sunglasses to the scroll of her instrument.  
  
She suddenly hugged her viola very close.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
After a tiring quarter of an hour later, most of the tape had been removed, except for the stuff on the ceiling, which none of them could get down, and nobody excluding Sarah knew how it got on there. Sarah was frenching Billy (who now had a pair of very stylish specs); Rachel was holding a book so she couldn't see what Sarah was doing, and smiling at one of Elwyn's jokes; Elwyn was writing "Orlando is H-O-T" on her arm, and Laura had gone to get Cindy.  
  
Dysfunctional, yes.  
  
There was a knock on the door, and Laura and Cindy entered. Cindy looked extremely harassed, and said,  
  
"I just had a run-in with three of the Nine. I had to make up this whole story to get them to leave." Elwyn looked up to ask what kind of story, but didn't get far, as Cindy gave her a warning look. Instead, she held out her arm, and said,  
  
"For the people who can't read well."  
  
Cindy shot her a sarcastic smile.  
  
"It's about time you respected yourself."  
They all sat down, and began to converse in quiet voices, occasionally writing down a thing or two on a scratch piece of paper.  
(A/N- So, how was it? If you want to read a really awesome fic, check out Analia's "Memories from Long Ago." It seems a little Mary-Sue-ish at the beginning, but once the next few chapters are posted (Yeah, I got to read ahead!), you find out that the main character really has a good head on her shoulders, and she KICKS BUTT!!! If you want me to update, go read and review her fic!  
  
I'm serious, though.  
  
It rocks.  
  
So what are you waiting for?  
  
Go click on find (after you review this, of course), and type in Analia.  
  
Go, now! 


	8. Fellowship of the Misfits

(A/N- Hey hey- I know the last chapter of my fic wasn't really that funny, and that is mainly due to the fact that I am in a creative slump, and running out of ideas. -_-;;; This will probably end in a few more installments, and then I will hopefully start on some more parodies, focusing on the actual characters. In the mean time, I am open to ideas, so feel free to e-mail me, or review to let me know what you are thinking! And just a little side note- Analia renamed her fic (curses), so now it is called "Consequences." Go read it!  
  
Lotsa Luv- Elwyn)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Four plus Cindy sat in silence, until Elwyn laughed.  
  
"Are you guys really sure this is gonna work?" Rachel looked down at her own paper.  
  
Step 1- Steal the Nine's lip-gloss, replace with toothpaste.  
  
Step 2- Steal the Nine's eye shadow, replace with powdered sugar.  
  
Step 3- If and when the Nine are distracted/disoriented, head down to the Room of Doom (i.e. the bathroom nearest the gym), and destroy the One Ring.  
  
Sarah scratched her head.  
  
"Is it only going to take three steps?"  
  
Laura sighed.  
  
"Doubt it." Cindy blinked. Then blinked again.  
  
"Something in your eye, oh Odd Flute player?"  
  
"No. I just thought of something brilliant!!!"  
  
Everyone looked at her. Including Billy, who was still wearing the oh-so- stylish blue sunglasses.  
  
That is when everyone else caught on.  
  
"Are you saying we could do that in conjunction with our original plan?"  
  
Cindy nodded.  
  
"We can take our their minions beforehand, and the job's much easier afterward."  
  
Rachel bit her lip.  
  
"Yeah, but who are we going to get as allies?"  
  
Sarah counted them off on her fingers out loud.  
  
"Band students, orchestra students, maybe even some sixth graders. But even that really isn't enough."  
  
"Unless." started Elwyn, starting to smile. Laura raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Unless what?"  
  
"In case you didn't notice, I was pausing for 'dramatic effect.' But anyways, like I was saying, what if we get the Outcasts to help?"  
  
A ringing silence.  
  
Of course. get the people who hated the Preps the most. Outcasts.  
  
"Well then, El. We'll let you talk to them. After all, your friends with a lot of them." Cindy smiled evilly, checking her watch. "Y'know, if you go now, you can catch them playing Magic the Gathering© in the Library."  
  
Elwyn stood up, heading for the door.  
  
"Great," she said, then continued in a high pitched, mocking tone, "Hi, I'm Elwyn from the Fellowship of Misfits, and I'm also the Ambassador to the Social Outcasts." She paused as she pulled her hood over her face and walked out the door.  
  
"Gods, this one's gonna follow me though high school."  
~~~~SOMEWHERE IN THE SCHOOL~~~~  
  
Number One pointed to the complex, scientific diagram, which she had drawn in lipstick on a mirror. In truth, the "complex, scientific diagram" was little more than lines, criss-crosses, and otherwise illegible pink markings, but she was in a particularly fowl mood-her favorite brand of hair care products was being discontinued- so none of the Nine really wanted to point this out to her. So they looked at her with absolute attention, pearly-toothed elation plastered on their faces.  
  
"So like I was saying, the Preppy One has been putting together an army to attack everyone else. I think we should corner and carry out our plans at Eighth Grade Deep!"  
  
Number Five flipped her hair, and was about to object, when all of the unnaturally straight blonde-ness got caught in her J.Lo hoops, and she fell over, whining, swearing, and twitching.  
  
The rest of them shook their heads sadly in disgust, while secretly only doing this so Number One wouldn't throw a fit because they weren't paying any attention. Besides, Number One was not fun to be around when she was angry, thought Number Four, as she recalled the loss of her favorite glitter eye shadow.  
(A/N- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I have inspiration again!!!!!!! YAY! Happy days!!!!!!!!!!!!) 


	9. Allies, or not?

A/N-Hello, faithful readers. You guys really are the best, y'know that? Thank you for wasting your time to read this! :P I hope you like this chapter, and just to clairify---  
  
Sarah isn't exactly like the way she is in this fic. She is a brilliant 4.0 student, who just got a little too carried away one day.  
  
Read on!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elwyn walked unhappily to the library.  
  
Evil so-called friends.  
  
So what if she was friends with the Outcasts?  
  
Well, when this was all over.  
  
Wait, no. that wasn't comforting thought! She promised Cindy that she'd say she hated her dear, dear Orlando.  
  
She sighed, and continued walking to her destination.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Cindy checked her watch again.  
  
"Hey, I got to go to lunch." She stuffed some papers roughly into her binder.  
  
"Wait, I have an idea."  
  
"What?" Cindy raised her eyebrow. "This isn't going to be telling us to go to home star runner .com, is it?" Sarah shook her head fervently.  
  
" 'Course not. I think we should strike the Preps four days from now. *Then,* we go to home star runner.com."  
  
Cindy contented herself by chucking her binder at Sarah's head, but unfortunately, Sarah had ducked, and was using Rachel as a human shield.  
  
Later that day, three members of the Four stood in front of the orchestra room, talking to an council of students. Cellos sat with their kind to the right, and violas and violins dominated the rest, except where the basses had staked their territory. It was reletivly loud, and Laura was loosing her paitience.  
  
"Alright. . . quiet. . ."  
  
No response.  
  
"EVERYONE, SHUT UP!!!"  
  
That did it.  
  
"Alright then." She said, clapping her hands together cheerfully.  
  
Rachel spoke up.  
  
"Are you guys sick of the Preps?"  
  
Shouts of "Yes."  
  
"Well, we have decided to wage a final war against them. One that will bring Pine Lake back to the rightful owners!"  
  
"You mean the Principal?" whispered Laura to Sarah.  
  
"No," she whispered back. "He long since had control over us. She means the students who aren't Preps."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Sarah picked up where Rachel left off.  
  
"Except, we can't do it alone, so we'll have to side with the Band students."  
  
A students stood up.  
  
"Yeah right! They'll never help us!" Rachel crossed her arms, looking completely annoyed.  
  
"It's the best plan we've got!"  
  
IN THE BAND ROOM. . .  
  
A similer council was being held.  
  
Cindy was about to tell them the news.  
  
"Alright. One final war, and then it's all over."  
  
"But can we do it alone?" Said Random Band student number one.  
  
"Well, that's the thing. . ." She paused, searching for words.  
  
"We'll need allies, so, we'll have to ask the Orchestra students for help-"  
  
"I refuse to side with them!" Said Random band student number two.  
  
Cindy turned to the wall, sighing, and began to bang her head against it.  
  
This was going to be a long, long day.  
  
A/N I'm do happy that this hit the 30 review mark! Thank you guys for all your support and critiques of this fic! It means a lot to me, so big thankees!  
  
I love you all lots!  
  
~El 


	10. Disappearances

A/N- Bonjour, mon cheri ami! You know what? Number one, 'ami' isn't plural, and number two, I don't know why I said that, being that I am neither taking French, or are friends with anyone who does. Oh well, sure sounds neat, huh? Because I am the evil person (or elf- take your pick) I am, I will tell you what that means at the end of this chapter.  
  
HA!!! *insane laughter**cough**weeze**gag* Er, yes. . . I think I'm done. Read on, my wonderful fans!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Leader looked up at Elwyn from behind brown hair, and a slight frown. This was Andrew, leader of the Magic the Gathering Outcasts, and what might turn into be the Four's only ally. Behind him, he was flanked by his advisors, followers, and other Outcasts who pledged their allegiance to him. In all, there was about twenty, twenty-five at the maximum.  
  
"Andrew, the Four and the rest of the Orchestra are planning to wage a final war against the Nine and the Preps. We need allies, and we were wondering if you would lend us your help."  
  
His second in command let out a derisive cough, and Elwyn had to resist getting up and strangling him. Gee, this being civil business was difficult. Andrew glared at him, and waved him away.  
  
"And what makes you so sure that my help will be wanted?"  
  
"Because you play cello in Orchestra, that's why. If you were to help us, it would make up for those. . . um, classes last year in which you popularity. . . dropped?"  
  
Andrew paused. She had a point.  
  
"What would we need?"  
  
"All of the Outcast's help, and some wit, really. Do we have a deal?"  
  
"Will there be compensation?" Elwyn gave an impatient sigh. "We weren't planning on it, no. But if you'd rather let the Preps remain in control of the school, don't help. Be my guest." Andrew grinned.  
  
"I was joking, alright?" He stood up and faced the crowd of Outcasts. "Is their anyone among you who doesn't want to kick some Prep butt?"  
  
You can't say he wasn't enthusiastic.  
  
Dead silence. Andrew turned back to Elwyn.  
  
"I guess we have an agreement then, El?" Elwyn stood up, smiling as well, and started to head for the door.  
  
"Sure do. I'll write you with the information for a gathering before the battle." Andrew nodded his answer.  
  
"Y'know, I hadn't even thought about compensation before then, but if you insist. .." he called after her.  
  
"Andrew, I wouldn't push it."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
If only things were going so well with the Orchestra/ Band agreement. The Orchestra students were determined to fight on their own, and they had had no word from the Band about any kind of assistance. Sure, they would accept the Outsiders help, but not the Band members. Laura, Sarah, Rachel, and Elwyn were at their wit's end. To put it better, they were a bundle of nerves, and a bundle not tied to securely. The gathering was a day away, and all they had managed to come up with was chaos. The Four, plus Andrew minus Cindy were sitting in a dimly lit practice room, talking in quiet voices.  
  
Laura sighed, looking at Andrew.  
  
"So? What was you scouts report?"  
  
Andrew shifted uncomfortably. "I'm afraid we have some bad news, guys."  
  
The Four looked at each other warily. After days of uncertainty, it could get worse?  
  
"What. . . ?"  
  
"The Preps have a huge army, and-"  
  
"THERE'S MORE?!?!?!?!"  
  
Everyone looked at the usually silent Rachel. She blushed and coughed, motioning for him to continue.  
  
"And, the Nine have disappeared. We've no idea where they are."  
  
*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N- AHHHHHH! Cliffy! I promise I'll update again reeeeaaaaaaaalllly soon! After all, I know the suspense is just *killing* you. . .  
  
BTW, the French at the beginning says, "Hello, my dear friends."  
  
Er, yes. . . excuse me. The asylum people say it's time for me to go back into my room and don my jacket. 


	11. Unwanted Guests, and Stupid Sixth Grader...

A/N- Hullo, it's El here with one of the last chapters to come. UGH. I'm sorry I haven't updated in such a long time! I know you must all hate me for it, but it's a chance I'll take. Currently, I am in Fredericksburg, Texas, visiting my grandparents. Now, being from Washington, the heat is a little challenging to get used to, but I'm getting there. I'll be here for almost my entire summer, then we'll start heading back up to Washington. For those of you who don't know what my summer holiday is, we let our June 25th, and we go back on September 3rd. Joy.  
  
Anyway, read on and I hope you like!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
IT had been almost a day since the dreadful news about the Nine had come in. Although the Four were certainly not giving up, they all secretly agreed that if Andrew's scouts couldn't find them, it was highly unlikely that anyone else could. The Orchestra students were assembled for an emergency council- it was only a day away from the scheduled attack in the Eighth Grade Deep. The Orchestra students had readily accepted the Outcasts and Andrews help, thanking Andrew profusely. Sarah noted, however, that if they were this keen to get help, they must have known what kind of trouble they were in. The Four and the Honourary Fifth member had already gone over their plans for tomorrow. They would meet up in the Orchestra room, go down to Eighth Grade deep, and wage war. Elwyn and Rachel had stopped listening, preferring to have a sword fight with their bows. The bow hair on Elwyn's was unbleached, whilst Rachel's was white. Therefore, Elwyn was voted to be evil, and was pretending to be a Prep.  
  
"Touche, mon cheri ami!" Elwyn wasn't quite sure why she was speaking randomly in French, especially since Preps didn't even know English. They, in fact, used and odd hybrid of ghetto slang and Spanish, mainly, "Hey chica!" Rachel parried a blow and ducked. However, the next blow came too fast.  
  
"HA! You don't have an arm anymore!" Rachel put her right arm behind her back, and held her sword in her other hand, and held it up to her shoulder.  
  
"Then I shall fight you with my stub!"  
  
Elwyn fell over laughing, and was "killed" a moment later. They were about to have another go at it, when the sound of an extremely harassed Laura shouting something un-repeatable met their ears.  
  
"WHAT THE HECK?!?! This-*thwap*-isn't-*thwap*-time-*thwap*-to-*thwap*-be- *thwap*-@%&*$$#-*thwap*-messing-*thwap*-around-*thawap*!!!!  
  
Rachel and Elwyn hurried to pull Laura off the frightened Sixth Grader, while Sarah rushed forward and shouted, "LANGUAGE!" and began thwapping Laura.  
  
"Are you. . . okay?" Asked Rachel. The Sixth Grader nodded.  
  
"I was making faces at her when she wasn't looking, 'cause she's been really boring, y'know. They started to laugh, and Laura turned me around and attacked. My head's a little sore. . . " She then turned into the direction of Laura and yelled quite loudly, "It's not my problem that drippy prat has no sense of humor!"  
  
Sarah obviously thought that the Sixth Grader deserved whatever she got, as she let go of her hair.  
  
"I'm going to *kill* you!" The Sixth Grader screamed, and ran away, with Laura in hot pursuit.  
  
"Well, you can't say she isn't persistent." Rachel said, and Elwyn nodded absent-mindedly.  
  
Rachel scanned the sea of students in front of her, and found something very odd.  
  
In the back, a pair of students were wearing pink A&F hoodies.  
  
"El," she whispered. "Look." Both Sarah and Elwyn did. They seemed to be hiding their faces, and had on a coat of hot pink nail polish.  
  
Andrew had been rummaging through his Magic the Gathering cards the entire time, looked up.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Laura had stopped harassing the girl and had overhead their conversation.  
  
"Look what they're wearing."  
  
Elwyn and Andrew looked at each other before shrugging and saying,  
  
"So? They have bad fashion sense, or something?"  
  
"That's A&F. That's banned here."  
  
One of the students muttered something to her partner, and they both stood up and started to run.  
  
"You! Stop moving!"  
  
They both sprinted and were soon out the door. A hushed silence filled the room. Laura was about to follow, but Elwyn held her back.  
  
"Laura, that was them. Two, if one wasn't bad enough. Whatever they wanted to hear, they got it. They know our plans."  
  
A murmur ran through the crowd.  
  
"El, we're gonna need reinforcements." Elwyn looked at Sarah.  
  
"This is it. Cindy hasn't come back with anything, so I'm afraid we're on our own."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N- Yeah, I know. Short. Maybe the heat's fuzzified my brain. 


	12. The Prep's Plan

A/N- It's rather sad of me that I have been writing this since February. -_- ;;; I suppose I owe you readers an apology for my attentiveness at updating this thing. SO, I'm sorry, and when I start my next parody, I promise I will update it with more speed than this one. I love you all lots, and may the ocean wear rubber pants to keep it's bottom dry.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sarah sunk down to her knees, looking very, very depressed. Rachel cast a worried glance down at her and said, reassuringly, "It's all right Sarah. We'll still find a way to beat them."  
  
Sarah sighed.  
  
"It's not that. I just remembered- Billy's soul was taken from him by the Wicked Witch of the NorthWest!" And then, she broke into sobs.  
  
"Er, yes. . . well. . . I'm terribly sorry. I wasn't aware."  
  
But it wasn't much use. Sarah was in a pretty right state, and was ignoring most anything Rachel was saying. Andrew leaned over to Rachel and said,  
  
"Who's Billy?" Rachel's eyes got big, and she shook her head fervently.  
  
"Shhh! Don't let her hear you-"  
  
"HE WAS MY ONE TRUE LOVE, AND NOW HE'S GOOOONE!!!!!"  
  
Laura was sincerely glad that no one was paying them any attention.  
  
"That was Number Four, and Number Five, I'm sure of it." Said Elwyn to Laura.  
  
"How would you know? They all look the same to me."  
  
"Trust me, if they had kidnapped you, you'd know."  
  
Laura shrugged.  
  
"Alright."  
  
"What's up with you, anyway?"  
  
"What about me?" Laura's voice gave away that she was very unhappy.  
  
"Let me take a wild, and completely uneducated guess that your upset because we didn't let you go after the Preps?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Laura, what would have happened if more were waiting outside to ambush us? Maybe that's what they wanted, anyway. Lure some of us out there, and then we're attacked by loads of 'em. We wouldn't be ready. We need another day."  
  
"What if they weren't? If they were alone-"  
  
Rachel cut her off.  
  
"So, we have captives. Big deal. They'd either ambush us on our way to Eighth Grade Deep, and take them back, or they'd give them up. What's two of they're number to them when half the school's on they're side?"  
  
Laura glared defeatedly.  
  
"Fine, whatever." She then stalked off to harass some more sixth graders.  
  
Sarah stopped her crying, and looked around.  
  
"Where'd Andrew go?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Andrew crouched down behind a door, spying into the gym. He blinked, hardly believing what he was seeing. Preps were all crowded into the gym. They were everywhere, and there was at least triple number wise than what they had.  
  
This. . . was very, very bad.  
  
A voice rang over the intercom. Obviously, they had control of the office as well. That too, was very bad.  
  
"Hey chicas!" Came the overly perky voice from the wall.  
  
Many voices answered.  
  
"I hope your all doing well, because in a half and hour, we'll begin our plans to destroy the little rebels attempts and beating us. I'd like to thank, however, Number Four and Number Five for sneaking in and gathering information. I love you lots, girlfriends! When I give the signal via intercom, proceed with plans. Until later, then!" There was a beep as the Preppy One sat down the receiver.  
  
Andrew ran back to Headquarters to tell the Four this information.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"They're WHAT?!?!"  
  
"Yeah, I know. That means we have to leave now, or else they'll beat us."  
  
Elwyn turned to the crown of students.  
  
"You heard him! Grab you weapons and head out the back way to Eighth Grade Deep! And be quick about it!"  
  
Laura cleared her throat.  
  
"Um, I think we can pull this off, guys. I. . . know, we can."  
  
The entire room fell silent and stared at her.  
  
"When were you ever this optimistic?"  
  
Laura swore and ran after the Sixth Grader whom she'd been harassing before, with Sarah skipping behind, shouting, "LANGUAGE!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N- Hmmm. . . I wonder what's gonna happen! I don't know yet. I haven't written the other chapters. ^.^''''' Oh, and if you didn't get why I put down the Wicked Witch of the NorthWest, it's because I live in Washington.  
  
The *original* Mordor. 


	13. The Battle Begins

A/N- I'm sorry that this chapter took so long to get up, but as I have said before, I am in Texas, and would like to spend as much time with my grandparents as possible. It's pretty hot down here, and I'm starting to miss the cool weather in Washington, and being my usual punk self. This will be either the second to last, or the third to last chapter in this fanfic. Thanks again for your patience,  
  
~Elwyn  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It didn't take long to make the necessary preparations- Ten minutes at the most.  
  
The resistance had found desks from inside classrooms, and had barricaded two exits to the left and right, so that it was impossible for any Preps to get through. There was only one way to attack, and that was from the courtyard. They had a classroom in back of them at their disposal, which they could use to hide out in if things got too dodgy.  
  
"Ugh, c'mon and help me with these books, will you?" They were building a defensive wall with textbooks. Laura glared at Elwyn and Rachel, who were siting down, and flipping through a stack of papers with interest. At Laura's words, Elwyn stuffed them hurriedly behind her. Laura set, or rather dropped, the stack of textbooks she was holding.  
  
"And what are *those*?"  
  
"Erm. . . nothing?"  
  
"El, give those to me." Elwyn flinched at her voice, which was dripping ice, and very calm. Not a combination you really wanted to hear. Elwyn picked up the papers very gingerly, and Laura snatched them away. She rifled through them, and gave a strangled shout.  
  
"Pictures of *Orlando Bloom*?!? NOW?!?"  
  
"It, er, keeps out hopes up." Tried Rachel.  
  
Laura proceeded to rip them violently, so by the end of it, it looked like very expensive confetti. Rachel and Elwyn gave a cry of indignation.  
  
"Those were good pictures, mate!" Said Elwyn, sulkily.  
  
"Oh, so sorry," He voice was sarcasm incarnate, "But now it's time to stop ogling the homosexual Elf, and help us build out defensive walls."  
  
Laura stalked off after picking up the books. Rachel and Elwyn paused to mourn the confetti.  
  
"How. . . could she?" "She's heartless, that must be it." Rachel laughed at this.  
  
"Yeah, maybe so, but we really ought to help with the wall."  
  
In truth, the defensive wall was only textbooks, but since they had used every one in the entire school, they were forced to use an empty desk to see over the top of it.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sarah turned to face Andrew.  
  
"You know, it's a shame that we never got around to messing with the Prep's make-up. We were planning to do that."  
  
Andrew grinned.  
  
"You didn't, we did."  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"Yup. Powdered sugar for eye shadow, and maple syrup for lip-gloss. Of course, it'll be near impossible for them to get the stuff off, especially since we added the permanent dye."  
  
"You did what?"  
  
"Added some really strong dye, so they're lips will be blue and green for the next month."  
  
Sarah burst out laughing.  
  
"That's brilliant! Have you told the others?"  
  
"Yeah, a little while ago. They thought it, er, amusing as well."  
  
"Prep's wont."  
  
"Well, I hardly put blue and green dye into people's lip-gloss to make them look good." *~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was all done. The wall was ready, and the barricades were finished. The Four and the Fifth member sat in a small circle. Laura held the Ring.  
  
"Do you guys think we'll win?"  
  
"I'm not sure, I saw the difference in numbers, you know."  
  
The door to the front was opened, and instead of shouts of fear, it was of surprise. The Four and the Fifth member stood up, to see. . .  
  
"We come to honour an allegiance made long ago." Said Cindy, all the Band members behind her.  
  
The Four gaped, while Andrew tried to be polite, and started clapping. Applause broke out, and Elwyn ran over to Cindy and gave her a high five.  
  
"I knew you'd come through for us! Well, er, actually, I didn't, but never mind that."  
  
Cindy smirked.  
  
"Just don't forget the nice little deal you made me." She walked off, yelling a command for the Band students to move forward. Elwyn followed, her mood only dampened slightly.  
  
*~*~*~  
  
The Orchestra students had their instrument bows to fight with, the Outcasts, their card packs, of which they had filled with very heavy rocks, and the Band students brought drumsticks, flutes, and anything else that could be used to thwap the Preps over their heads.  
  
They stood up near the wall, patiently waiting. They figured that with the time thye spent fixing everything up, it wouldn't be long before they were fighting. Indeed, they only had to wait five minutes.  
  
Rachel, Sarah, Laura, or Elwyn could not recount the last time they had seen so much pink. The Preps were all dressed in bright pink Roxy, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Old Navy garb, that it was almost impossible to distinguish them from fluffy pink stuffed animals.  
  
Well, except for the blue and green lips, that is. Laura looked for the Nine, but found that they weren't there.  
  
Very suspicious.  
  
Andrew looked around to his fellow Outcasts.  
  
"FIRE!"  
  
A whirlwind of card cases were flung at the Prep's direction, and a lot of them fell over. Cursing, the Preps charged forward, brandishing perfume, and pink lipstick.  
  
"Let's go!"  
  
The resistance met the Preps head on, and used some very tricky bow work that would have accounted for nothing in class, unfortunately. There were a few hollow sounds as a few flutes met the heads of Preps, and some cries and some sprayed perfume in their face. The Four motioned to Cindy.  
  
"We need to go. Can you handle this?"  
  
"Sure, but hurry back as fast as you can with help, alright?"  
  
Rachel, Andrew, Sarah, Laura, and Elwyn ran to the open classroom, and headed for the open window, which they climbed out of, and hurried off to the other side of the desks. They could open the Seventh Grade science classroom's windows, and get back into the main hall quickly. Then, they could make their way to the Room of Doom.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N- Post another in a few more days if I get lots of reviews, alright? Two more and I reach fifty!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
\m/^.~\m/ I LOVE YOU GUYS! 


	14. Ambush and Insults

A/N- I'm back in Washington!!!! *grins* I missed rainy land very, very much. Anyway, I think one or two more chapters should do it. . .  
  
Savvy???? ^_^  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Four and the Fifth member had decided to go through the Seventh grade hall after realizing that they would be seen outside. They had used about five minutes of their time getting back in.  
  
"Uh, Laura? Once we get there, how are we going to destroy the ring?"  
  
Laura was silent. Andrew coughed.  
  
"You mean to tell me that you have no idea what to do with it?"  
  
Sarah nodded. "Yeah, that sounds pretty accurate."  
  
"I suppose we *could* flush it."  
  
"Yeah, let's do that!" Everyone turned to Laura, who had started the toilet business in the first place, and seemed very keen on the idea. She shrugged. "Hey, why not?"  
  
"Or, you could just give us the Ring, and it would spare you the trouble."  
  
The Four and Fifth members stopped arguing to look up, and see. . .  
  
All of the Nine standing in front of them.  
  
Normally, they wouldn't have laughed, especially when the future of their school was on the line. However, they looked so odd, standing there, clad in Abercrombie and Fitch, with ridiculously large silver hoops in their ears, that the "dramatic pose" that they were all striking wasn't dramatic.  
  
It was, in fact, a laugh.  
  
All of them burst out laughing at just about the same time. There was a slight moment of hesitation, but it wasn't long.  
  
"Nice earrings!" Said Laura between laughs. She was of course, referring to Number Four (Or was it Number Six? They were all a bit interchangeable, she thought.), who was now attempting, and failing miserably, to untangle blond hair from the jewelry. Whatever Number she was, she paused to give Laura a seething glare. However, the effect was much ruined with all of the lip-gloss and other make-up she was wearing. "Malibu Barbie" was the first thing that popped into Rachel's head.  
  
"Ugh, what*ever*. Listen, we don't have time to play your childish games, alright? We so need to re-apply out eye shadow, so if you wouldn't mind, give us the Ring, and we'll be on our way." Number One flipped her hair, in what she must have thought was a menacing way. The Four and Fifth stopped laughing, and straitened up, trying to look serious.  
  
"Er, well, the thing is, we were all sort of hoping for a bit of a fight, you know. That sort of thing." Said Andrew. Number One raised her eyebrow.  
  
"A fight?"  
  
"Well, yeah." Said Elwyn.  
  
"And not a cat fight." Said Rachel.  
  
"And what make you so sure we want to fight?"  
  
"Your music is trash, you dress like. . . well, I think you know what I'm talking about, and you have the worst, uh, shoes." Laura gave them a sarcastic smile. The Nine did not like being insulted. That was apparent. The Four and Fifth member got out their weapons.  
  
"For Billy!" Sarah cried.  
  
"For Toy Story Aliens!" Laura yelled.  
  
"For Orlando Bloom!" Rachel said proudly.  
  
"For punks!" Elwyn grinned.  
  
Andrew sighed, before brandishing his card box, and said,  
  
"For sanity. . . ?"  
  
Laura thwapped Number Two of the head, and was immediately squirted with some sort of floral scented perfume. She coughed and made a gagging sound.  
  
"Please tell me you don't actually *wear* that stuff!!!"  
  
Number Two looked at her concernedly, her blue eyes widening.  
  
"What's wrong with it? Is it too heavy, or something?"  
  
"Naw, it's fine," Said Laura, who took this opportunity to thwap her again.  
  
Sarah was trying to know lipstick out of a Nine's hand.  
  
"Get-that-away-from-me!"  
  
"But it's *just* your color! You'll look FABULOUS with this! I promise."  
  
"What good is your word?" Sarah asked quizzically as she knocked it out of her hand. The pink lipstick landed on the floor, and was mashed into the rug.  
  
"Ugh! That was expensive, too!" The Nine sank to the floor, trying to salvage some.  
  
Rachel was fighting off two at once.  
  
"OK, let's get this straight. I don't like you, your perfume, your choice in guys, or your lipstick." She was doing quite spectacular, parrying lunges from the two members of the Nine.  
  
"What's wrong with our boyfriends?" Asked one of them suspiciously.  
  
"Well, it might be better if you chose one with brains, and if you kept them for more than a week." Rachel leaned forward, and messed up both of their hair.  
  
"Eeek! Look what you've done!" They dove into the purses at their side and each pulled out a mirror and a little comb.  
  
Andrew was busy insulting them.  
  
"Why pink? It does nothing for your skin tone, you know." "And what would you know about it?"  
  
"Nothing, really."  
  
"Andrew, *attack* already!" Yelled Sarah.  
  
"I don't really want to hit a girl, though."  
  
"They aren't girls, they are evil."  
  
Good enough for Andrew.  
  
He hit her square in the forehead with his card pack. Excellent shot, truly.  
  
"Nice one, Andrew!"  
  
Elwyn was cursing at Number Five in some unknown language, again probably made-up.  
  
"What is it you have against punks, anyway?"  
  
"They have icky fashion sense!"  
  
THWAP.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N- So. . . good? Bad? So-so? I need a little feedback, my friends! Thanks to Laura, who gave me a couple ideas for this chapter. As for the thwap at the end of this one, I am a punk myself, not some Avril wannabe, mind you, and I think "thwap" is all the answer you need for a comment like that.  
  
Everyone feel bad for Andrew, as he had a run-in with Kelsey and Company at the movies this summer! (Sauron and the Nine in my fic.)  
  
I wish I was there, Andrew! We could have waged war! 


	15. Andrew's Misfortune

A/N- For the answer to your question, yes, I *do* like Andrew, but it's sort of Sarah/Andrew now. I had the biggest crush on him!!! But Sarah beat me to him, you could say. ^^ So, I guess just as a friend.  
  
But Andrew did a very, very bad thing a few days ago! School pictures came back, and I looked completely stoned. So he grabs my pictures and waves them around for all to see.  
  
Andrew, my dear, dear friend, this chapter goes out to you. *evil, wicked grin* You had it coming!!! *~*~*~*~*~  
  
It didn't take long for the Four to finish their fight with the Nine.  
  
"Um, guys? Where'd Andrew go?" Said Elwyn, smiling confusedly and looking at her fellow members.  
  
"Dunno."  
  
Around the corner of the hall, someone shouted, and it was obvious it was Andrew.  
  
"Augh! Get away from me!" There was a thud as someone fell over, and Andrew ran out into the main hall, in which the Four were listening raptly. He had smeared pink lipstick up the side of his face, where he obviously turned away. He was about to say something, but was cut off.  
  
"Oh wow, Andrew, that is *so* your color!"  
  
He glared.  
  
"It isn't funny," he said, frowning. "I hate pink."  
  
Laura raised an eyebrow.  
  
"And you would prefer. . . more of a red shade?"  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
"Hmm. . . nope. Sorry!" She said in her best Canadian accent. "Anyway, we better get going before the Nine come and try to get us again." "That's what I tried to tell you! They didn't run away! They're around the corner!"  
  
Rachel pointed to the door leading to the bathroom.  
  
They all ran, the Nine obviously right behind them.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Outside, the rain from the previous night had made the stone steps very slippery.  
  
Sarah got Rachel's attention as one the Nine fell down the steps.  
  
"You know what?" She said, smiling. "Preps are a bit like slinkies. They aren't really good for anything, but they are so much fun to watch fall down stairs!"  
  
Rachel grinned back as they made it into the main building, and neared the girl's bathroom door. They were all about to go in, when Rachel noticed that Andrew was shaking his head.  
  
"I can't go in there. That's a girl's bathroom." Laura sighed, annoyed, and grabbed his arm.  
  
"Come on." She ignored his protests, and proceeded to drag him into the bathroom.  
  
A/N- Sorry it was so short. . . 


	16. Final Confrontation

A/N- O_O Oh wow! I never expected this many reviews. *blinks* Oh yeah----  
  
Satyr- That's awesome you know what I'm talking about! No, I'm not going to Skyline though. I'm going to Issaquah high, but it would be fun if we could meet up at a sports game sometime next year, no? As for a sequel, I wasn't planning on it, but I am going to do other parodies.  
  
Erica- ^_^ You used to go to Pine Lake?!? That's ace. Do you go to Issaquah, or what? Ahhh! This is so cool that there are people other than the Four and The Fifth member who know what I'm talking about!!!!!!  
  
*grins* And now, on with the show!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
They all entered the bathroom.  
  
Nothing happened. Whatsoever. But the Four looked around nervously anyway. Didn't hurt to be on your guard.  
  
"Oh Andrew, get off it already. Open your eyes."  
  
Andrew had shut his eyes, and was crossing his arms defiantly.  
  
"No, I'm not supposed to be in here!" Laura groaned.  
  
"Andrew, open your eyes, or I'll tell everyone about your lovely little makeover. I do have a camera, and it doesn't cost much to blow a picture up poster size."  
  
Rachel, Sarah, and Elwyn grinned at each other. If nothing else, she was good at two things: doing Canadian accents, and giving threats. Rachel shook her head sadly and turned to Elwyn to whisper in her ear, "At least no one's told him that our high school has elevators."  
  
"It does?"  
  
Rachel coughed. "It was a joke, El. Never mind, forget I said it." Andrew sighed defeatedly, and hesitantly opened one eye. He frowned in obvious disappointment.  
  
"What's up with you?"  
  
"You know those rumors they tell you in elementary school? Well, girl's bathroom isn't nicer than the boys."  
  
"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you, if you were expecting carpet, or something, but-" Sarah was cut of when the door opened.  
  
"Ugh, I knew I'd find you here." She flipped her hair and didn't get it caught in her hoops, showing many years of practice, and placed a hand on her Old-Navy clad hip. Without a doubt, this was the Preppy One herself, Kelsey.  
  
Laura walked up to her, and put on an insincere smile.  
  
"Let me, if I may, take a wild, uneducated, completely unreliable guess that you are here to steal back what we have rightfully taken."  
  
Kelsey just blinked, taking a moment to think about what was said. It was apparent that she hadn't been paying any attention during vocabulary in language arts.  
  
"In simple terms, you want your Ring back."  
  
"Yeah, so hand it over." She placed an expectant hand before her.  
  
"I dunno, hon." Said Elwyn, waving at her. "I was thinking it could be the new punk fashion accessory." Kelsey rolled her eyes.  
  
"Whatever. Just give it back, and I'll let you go."  
  
Andrew laughed.  
  
"Uh, we could just waltz out of here right now if we wanted to, no problem."  
  
"And because you don't have any of your minions with you, you wouldn't be strong enough to stop us." Said Sarah, smiling quite kindly.  
  
"And, if you don't let us destroy it, I'll put *this* on you!" Said Rachel, brandishing an overly bright shade of electric orange eye shadow. Kelsey gave and indignant sputter, and narrowed her eyes, disbelieving.  
  
"You sick, sick person." All-consuming hatred and disgust dripped of every word. "Orange does nothing for my skin tone!"  
  
"Um, if I may, it's more of a tangerine shade." Noted Elwyn.  
  
Kelsey sneered at her, and recovered from the shock.  
  
"Well, if you destroy the Ring, then I'll destroy *this*." She pulled from her pocket and judging from Andrew's gasp a very rare and valuable Magic the Gathering playing card.  
  
"You can't!"  
  
"Watch me."  
  
"Andrew, it's for the greater good." Said Sarah consolingly.  
  
Andrew gave a bleak nod and pulled out the Ring, which had changed hands many times this afternoon.  
  
"I'm afraid not."  
  
"Er, Kelsey, I'm not sure you want it back." Said Laura, trying not to smile.  
  
"Yeah, because we minus Andrew had a little fun with a permanent black marker." Said Elwyn, grinning.  
  
"Yeah? Sure. Right."  
  
"Get a bigger vocabulary, will you?" Coughed Sarah.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Exactly! I rest my case."  
  
"Fine have it your way, but don't tell us we didn't warn you."  
  
Andrew handed her the Ring, and the looked at it, a growing amount of loathing making itself present on her face.  
  
"What. . . have you done?"  
  
"Like it?" Asked Elwyn. "I hope the three times that it says "Death to Preps" wasn't too much."  
  
"Yeah, I was worried about that," said Laura.  
  
"Me too. I was sort of hoping that it didn't distract with any outfit she was planning on wearing." Agreed Sarah  
  
"Oh well, you can't have everything perfect," Said Rachel, shaking her head in mock sadness.  
  
Kelsey screamed, and pushed through them, toward one of the bathroom stalls.  
  
"How dare you! YOU CAN'T ERASE PERMANENT MARKER!"  
  
"Well, I must say that that *was* the intent."  
  
"UGH! GET IT OUT OF MY SIGHT!"  
  
"Hey, you can't flush it! That's our job!!!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
ONE MORE CHAPTER IS COMING~! Oh, please review! If possible, my goal is 100 reviews!!!! So refer this to your friends, you mums, you dads, your cousin on your mother's side twice removed. . .  
  
LOADS OF LOVE, ~El 


	17. Aftermath

As this *finally* comes to a close, I do have some thanks to hand out---  
  
Analia, Wyrrm, Cake Eater, and There is a Hole in my Mind----- You guys were the first that reviewed, and quite honestly, kept me writing this fic. Laura, Sarah, Rachel, Andrew- At the risk of sounding cliched, you guys are a great bunch of people to know. Laura, stop kicking me. Rachel, let's see. . . Only 44 more minutes! ^_^ Sarah, good luck at finding a *real* boyfriend. *winks* No problem there, eh? Andrew, why aren't you, like, 500 pounds yet? Cindy, you rock. We don't see each other often, but it's fun when we do. To all the others who helped get this fic to the number of reviews it reached- Thanks for taking the time to do so! I love you all.  
  
To Bubba-----  
  
ANDREW IS STRAIGHT!!! And, me and Sarah like him! *Huggles Andrew protectively*  
  
And now, on with the show!!!!!  
  
*~*~*~  
  
So, in the end Kelsey destroyed her own ring.  
  
With good reason, of course.  
  
The Preps no longer controlled the halls, or the lunch room. In fact, they were now moved to a small, dusty corner of the lunchroom, and no longer did people have to deal with listening to things like Nelly or Beyonce during student DJ days. A few rockers took over that and replaced it with Audioslave, and The White Stripes. *~*~  
  
It was fourth period, and Laura, Sarah, Rachel, and Andrew sat in a circle, talking quietly.  
  
"You guys, I have a very important announcement to make," Said Sarah seriously. "I think I might have gotten over Billy."  
  
Rachel smiled at her sincerely.  
  
"Which is why you're still wearing a locket with his name in it?"  
  
"Er, well, I'm working on that."  
  
Just then, the intercom came on, and was fumbled, before being held steady.  
  
"Uh, this is-no, give it back!- Elwyn, and, um, I hate Orlando Bloom!!!" Followed by a, "Ah, did I say that?"  
  
The four of them that were in the room laughed, while others looked highly affronted.  
  
Yelling in the background, none of it very understandable, except for the "Detention for a week," and a cry.  
  
It went dead.  
  
Laura shook her head.  
  
"Isn't that sad? El's gonna be stuck in it for a week. I almost feel bad for her." Which, they all would have believed, if she hadn't been grinning.  
  
"Some friend you are."  
  
"Well, I do try my best."  
  
*~*~*  
  
Laura-  
  
After the incident, she has devoted her time to maintaining her membership in Honor Society, and tormenting Elwyn about the fact that she never got into algebra one. She put green streaks in her hair, and is currently attempting to read the entire library.  
  
Sarah-  
  
After holding a memorial service for Billy, she has begun the healing process, and is getting over the loss. Her current hobbies include making faces with tomato sauce at lunch, and hanging around Andrew, who provides the tomato sauce.  
  
Rachel-  
  
Rachel is scarred by the events that took place during the weeks in which this took place, and is seeing a psychiatrist for therapy. So far, the sessions have been successful. She enjoys pasting pictures of Orlando Bloom as various characters on her binder, and staring at them while pretending to be playing her violin.  
  
Andrew-  
  
Has taken quite a liking to Magic the Gathering. So much, in fact, that he has spent almost all the money he has made doing various jobs on more cards. He likes eating amazing amounts of sugar at lunch, and annoying everyone else by not gaining any weight. This might be do to the fact that he rows. He enjoys listening to MXPX in his spare time, and recently angered a Prep by commenting on her clothes a little too loudly.  
  
Cindy-  
  
Has given up all hope on sanity. Although she successfully commanded the assault in Eighth Grade Deep, with an amazing win, she transferred out of Band and joined a less stressful elective, Spanish.  
  
Best of luck Cindy.  
  
Elwyn-  
  
Has been shamed as her younger brother joined Band. She has gone crazy, and will, unfortunately not be back anytime soon. After she finishes her detentions for stealing the intercom phone, she plans to check into an asylum.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
THANK YOU!!! YOU GUYS RULE!  
  
Oh, and if you wouldn't mind, please check out some of my other fics, alright? I have a Pirates of the Caribbean up, and if you wouldn't mind checking that out, that would be really nifty. 


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